Bandaid Therapy: I'll Pay You to Care About Me

When people refer to bandaids in the context of emotional distress, they're usually implying that there's something bad or wrong about bandaids. I'm quite grateful for bandaids. A bandaid doesn't fix an underlying problem and bandaids aren't always helpful, but sometimes bandaids are precisely what's needed. Supportive therapy, just being with another person that sincerely cares and is entirely focused on you, is kind of like a bandaid. It's not going to fix the underlying problem, but it may provide the environment needed for you to fix the problem yourself.

I use bandaids when I have a cut that's perfectly capable of healing itself given the right environment - wash it off and stick a bandaid on to protect it while it heals. I also use bandaids when there's a more serious injury that needs protection until a healing intervention is available. That may mean moving from the place where the injury occurred to a safer place to open things up, or it may mean keeping the injury covered while I get to whoever or whatever can help me address the underlying issue.

Bandaids are harmful when an underlying wound needs attention and I'm simply using the bandaid to avoid dealing with it, but that specific scenario doesn't indicate that bandaids are never helpful. When it comes to psychological well-being, the most safe and manageable approach may include applying a bandaid for a period of time. Things can be so dire that it really is most helpful to rip the bandaid off and give immediate attention to the underlying problem. Usually, I find that it's more helpful to carefully remove the bandaid, bit by bit, so that what's happening underneath can be assessed and addressed with minimal discomfort. In some cases, the bandaid may even need to be peeled back and then replaced several times to keep things contained as the issue is remedied in stages.

What always seems true about bandaids is that while they may be helpful for a period of time, they'll start to cause problems eventually if they never get removed. The same is true of supportive therapy. Outside of therapy, healthy relationships are mutual and focus is shared between two people. In the therapeutic relationship, it's healthy for the entire focus to be on you the majority of the time. You don't want your therapist to be a paid friend, but it may make sense to pay someone just to care about you for a little while. Perhaps there's no deep-seated issue that a bandaid can't help. You may simply need time and space to focus on you in the company of someone who cares in order to heal from whatever it is that ails you. You may have more complex wounds that a bandaid can't fix, but you need that bandaid to prepare for the intervention that will heal the wound. In any case, at some point, it's important to take that bandaid off.

I encourage you to appreciate bandaids for the times and ways in which they're helpful. It may absolutely make sense to pay someone just to care about you. Figure out how to access bandaids for those times that you need them, and perhaps find some comfort and reassurance in knowing that a time will come when they're not needed anymore.